The other day I went to the doctor’s. Totally routine, expected to be there for 10 minutes while the nurse checked my blood pressure and gave me my latest contraceptive injection. I ended up being there 35 minutes, and walked the long way home, taking advantage of the crisp and chilly Autumn air (my fave).
Probably like a majority of the population, ya girl has gained some weight over lockdown. I’ve known this the entire time, and expected it – I’ve gone from working in London and doing 7000+ steps a day to working from the desk in my bedroom and just going back and forth between there and the kitchen. Just because I was expecting it doesn’t mean I wasn’t terrified of gaining weight. Even though I’ve been so conscious about what I’ve been eating, I haven’t been super strict with myself. Could I have bee a little stricter? Oh yeah.
Essentially, in medical terms, I’m very overweight now, and considering all my pre-existing conditions and medications I’m on, this could become a problem. So we need to do something about this. My blood pressure was great though, just in case you were wondering.
The nurse talked through a few options with me, and I gave her consent to refer me to the lifestyle hub at my local hospital, which is like a health and wellness support and advice team. The lifestyle hub team can then refer you onto various lifestyle programmes, and they also talk to you like you’re in primary school. Bring the voice down two octaves, Emma, pretty sure it says on my referral that I’m 22.
Through them, I’m joining the MoreLife programme, which I still don’t really know what that’s all about. I think it’s some kind of healthier lifestyle meeting programme – like WeightWatchers, but without the guilt-tripping and overly expensive ready meals. All I know is that I’ll Zoom once a week with a mentor and a small group of others and we talk about things. Sounds exciting, I know. Thing is, I can’t join until January because I’m a Young Professional and have work to do 9 – 6 every day, so the afternoon meetings are a no-go. As Mum put it, “At least [I] get to have a good Christmas.” I’ve also been referred to a dietician, but still waiting to hear back on that.
Emma, to her credit, also shared some decent looking online exercise videos and programmes that I’ll be giving a go. The weather has turned from Good Autumn to Bad Autumn, so I won’t be enjoying long walks around the river without gale force winds and rain any time soon. I also got me a personal trainer who I start with this weekend, so wish me luck on that. She seems nice, but she also seems like she’s going to kill me. Not to mention her little studio is less than five minutes up the road from where I live AND opposite my favourite coffee shop, so talk about perfect place, perfect time. Now to find workout gear that won’t ride down and that I’ll look good dying in…
The end goal of all this? Lose weight, keep it off, and create a healthy lifestyle. I don’t hate my body, not by a long shot, but I don’t like it. I’m not happy with it. I don’t want to be skinny because that won’t make me happy. Would it make clothes shopping easier? Hell yeah, but I don’t want to be a size 6. I just want to be healthier, feel healthier. I want to look like the me I’m supposed to look like, because I feel like me and my personality just don’t fit my body, if you get what I mean. I was watching an episode of Say Yes to the Dress yesterday (guilty pleasure, please don’t judge), and the bride said, “There’s definitely a difference between loving your body and accepting your body, and I’m definitely at accepting it rather than loving it.” She hit the nail on the head – she was spot on.
I know I will never be an actual “healthy” human because that’s what chronic diseases and deficiencies will do to you. But what I could become is healthier. I already have some rules for myself to follow, like taking my meds the right way, upping my daily water intake, and curbing my Diet Coke consumption to one every two days (doing good on that one, actually).
I promise you this will not become a weight loss blog – I won’t allow it to. I’m not here to preach my 250 calorie dinners or healthy alternative-to-chocolate-chip oat and date cookies – life’s too short for that, and chocolate chips exist to bring joy. I’m not going to start preaching weight loss tips and go, “Look at me now! Look how good I look! Here’s how to look like me!” because I guarantee that this is not going to be fun. Necessary, yes. Fun? No.
I’m not going into this with a positive “This is going to work!” mind set because we all know I’m a positive pessimist. I’ve been on fitness bursts before, going to the gym four times a week and calorie counting and seeing nothing happen, so God knows if it’ll work this time round. If I can build something sustainable that does produce results, albeit maybe not as fast as I’d like, then I’m all for it. If it doesn’t work and the docs can see that, I’m hoping they refer me for lipo or something like that because I’m just ready for these bingo wings and non-existent jawline to go (can they do that on the NHS?)
I’m getting back on the calorie counting train which I know is a controversial practise in some circles, but when I did it before I actually found it really insightful into how much I was actually eating and it improved my portion control. It’s just a starting point, something I can do to get myself going. I’m also going to try and do one of those fitness videos Emma suggested every morning to ease myself back into the whole exercise thing. It’s been a while since I bombed it down the concord in St Pancras, so hopefully my personal trainer will get me back up to that level without my inhaler.
Oh yeah, that was another thing. I’m finally being tested for asthma! Got my old friend the peak flow monitor back, who I haven’t seen since I was about 8, and got my little chart to fill in everyday. Ironically, since doing these peak flow tests over the last week and a half, I haven’t needed my inhaler at all. Hmm…
I do want to share my health and lifestyle journey with you guys, but like I said earlier, it’s not going to take over my blog or my Insta. That isn’t what I created these spaces for. This doesn’t mean I’m not going to share recipes for my favourite foods that aren’t the healthiest, or discuss living life while taking up more room than others, but it might just mean you’ll see a “My Top Work Out Leggings” list and a progress report every now and then. Hope you don’t mind?
This was just a little update for ya, just keeping you filled in so you’re all up to speed. Now I’m gonna go trawl the Gymshark website and hope there’s still some L+ leggings in stock (fat fucking chance!).
Talk to you later,