Not gonna lie, but the last few months have been hard. That explains why I’ve not been on here as much as I’d like to have been.
You’d think that when you don’t really have anything to do, you’d see it as an opportunity to do all the things you can and have wanted to do, like me working on this blog, right? But no. It’s almost been like since I’ve not had any very-adult-and-serious obligations to focus on, like a job, I’ve had zero energy to focus on anything at all. As a procrastinator, it’s not been that bad. But also as someone who doesn’t like having nothing to do, it’s been hellish.
I’ve had a list of things to do, sure – create more content for here, finally plan out and start writing my novel, improve my mac n cheese recipe, get a new job. I’ve achieved none of those things. What I have done is rewatch all 15 seasons of Criminal Minds twice, rebinge Gilmore Girls, write more fanficiton (don’t laugh) in the last two months than I have in the last two years, and develop only an idea for my novel.
I know this isn’t going to last forever – I’ll get my mojo back, I’ll find a new 9 – 5, I’ll finally be rid of the crushing disheartening of filling in these ten page job applications that require you to do three fake marketing tasks that take you all weekend and the soul of your first born, but ultimately lead to nowhere. Being in your 20s, trying to kickstart a career, is so fun.
Speaking of fun (heavy sarcasm), I have kept up with my person training and I’m make progress! I don’t look any different I don’t think, but the number on the dodgy weighing scales in my PT’s studio is slowly going down. I’m physically stronger, my asthma’s chilling out a bit, and I’m pretty pleased with how well I’m sticking to this routine.
I spend a lot of my days trying to find things to do, little tasks to stave off the ever-growing sense of ennui (new favourite word). Laundry is pretty good for that, so’s dusting, doing outfit content for Instagram, and baking. I can confirm my Biscoff blondie recipe has seriously improved.
I just wanted to write this post to let you know I wasn’t dead, that I haven’t given up on my blog (I’ve told way too many potential employers about it to do that at this point), and to also remind myself that eventhough it feels like things aren’t happening, there’s still a fair bit going in. Maybe it’s not exactly what I want going on, but regardless, things are movin’.
We’ve got another week here in England until more stuff like indoor eating and museums reopen, so that’ll hopefully pad my calendar out a bit when the time comes and take my mind off adulting for a day or two. I just wanna go to the museums, ya know? I wanna go look at rocks and dinosaurs.
And no, I’m not going to tell you how long it took me to write this post, edit it, and post it. It’s embarassing. Gotta keep those procrastinating skills in shape.
Talk to you later,